There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry. The wound is still there."
Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
- Use a husky, dirty phone sex voice but ask normal questions about the proposed offer. “Is it a low interest rate? mmmmm…I like low interest rates…really low…”
- In an outrageously excited tone: “Thank god you called!!!” Explain that an online psychic told you that your future lover would randomly call disguised as an asshole.
- Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.
- Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter “s”. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat.
- Be incredibly polite as they explain their offer, but make farting noises once in a while and ask whether there is something wrong with the connection.
- In an annoyed tone cut the telemarketer off mid sentence : “Dan, stop screwing around…we have to get rid of this body fast, did you find a chainsaw or not?”
- “Congratulations! You’re the 100th caller on the (insert local radio station) Sweet Vacation Giveaway Blast Marathon. You’ve just won a pair of tickets to Negril, Jamaica and the use of Sean Paul’s celebrity vacation house.” Take down her address and send her all of your L.L.Bean catalogues for the rest of your life...after you use them as liner for your cat’s litter box.
- Keep repeating, “I knew you were going to say that…”
- Stutter on a syllable of an obvious word in a sentence… see how long it takes before he completes the phrase. When he does, get upset, and say “That really hurts my fee…fee… fee… fee…feel…fee… fee… fee…” ad infinitum.
- Pee on the phone while he’s talking.
- Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice “May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary”
- Ask how much it would take to get him to stop working as a telemarketer. Start at $1000. Say you are dead serious.
- Ask if he will be your friend if you sign up.
- Tie obscure facts about Barbara Streisand to everything thing he says,, “2.3% interest rate? oh my…did you know Barbara was 23 when she filmed Funny Girl…”
- Every few minutes repeat, “You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem…who is this again?”
- “Oh my god, I used to have your job…does Bob still work there (repeat names until you find a match)…which building are you in?” Escalate coincidence until you both realize that you sat in the same chair. Explain that you had to quit work when your genitals mysteriously vanished.
- Regardless of the offer tell him you’ll take 7. If he asks what you mean say he drives a hard bargain and you’ll take 9, but that’s as far as you’ll go.
- Every half-minute ask him to hold and pretend to scream at your invalid mother. “You want to use the bathroom??? Well stop whining and get up out of the wheelchair for a change. You just sit there and think about that for a while, mother. Can’t you see I’m on the damn phone?”
- Forgive him. Tell him you did. Over and over again, until he hangs up. Then secretly take it back.
Friday, June 04, 2010
She asked because as we all know, there’s always a possibility that things can fall apart in the future no matter how wonderful things are right now.
Well, I think I found the answer in the following statement,
“If the thought of not being with the person you’re with makes your heart ache, you figure out a way to make it work. You amend your plans. You change your vision of how you thought your life would turn out and you make a go of it.”
Monday, February 15, 2010
It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. ”
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life.
Her coat was new.
Tampak olehnya seorang wanita yang pasti biasa hidup mewah.
Mantel bulunya tampak baru.
His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him,
like so many others had done before.
Sekilas terpikir di benaknya bahwa tentu wanita itu akan mengolok-olok dia
seperti yang sering dilakukan banyak orang sebelumnya.
To his amazement,the woman continued standing.
She was smiling – her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.
Tapi dia merasa heran karena wanita itu tetap berdiri disitu.
Wanita itu tersenyum – sebaris giginya yang putih rata tampak berkilauan.
"No," he answered sarcastically.
"I've just come from dining with the president.. Now go away."
“Tidak,” jawabnya mengejek.
”Saya baru saja selesai makan malam dengan Presiden... Sekarang pergilah.”
"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily.
"I said to leave me alone..”
“Nyonya, apa yang kau lakukan?” orang itu bertanya dengan marah.
”Aku sudah bilang, biarkan aku sendirian.”
"Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked..
“Ada masalah apa, nyonya?” dia bertanya..
"I'm just trying to get this man to his feet.
Will you help me?"
“Saya hanya berusaha mengangkat orang ini berdiri pada kakinya.
Bolehkah anda menolong saya?”
"That's old Jack.
He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years..
What do you want with him?"
“Itu adalah si Jack tua.
Dia sudah beberapa tahun menggelandang disini.
Apa yang hendak anda lakukan kepadanya?”
"I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."
”Saya mau memberikan makanan kepadanya
dan membawa dia menghindar dari hawa yang dingin ini untuk sementara.”
"I don't want to go in there!"
Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
“Aku tidak mau pergi kesana!”
Pada saat itu ia merasakan tangan-tangan yang kuat memegang lengannya yang sebelah lagi
dan mengangkat dia berdiri pada kakinya.
"Don't blow it.
“Jangan sia-siakan itu, kawan.”
It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.
Hari sudah mulai larut sehingga tidak banyak lagi kebanyakan orang yang makan pagi sudah pergi dan mereka langganan untuk makan siang masih belum tiba.
"What's going on here, officer?" he asked.
"What is all this, is this man in trouble?"
”Ada apa ini, pak polisi?” dia bertanya..
“Apa artinya ini, apakah orang ini membuat masalah?”
"Having a person like that here is bad for business."
”Membiarkan orang seperti ini berada disini buruk untuk bisnis kami.”
"See, lady. I told you so.
Now if you'll let me go.
I didn't want to come here in the first place."
“Kau lihat itu, nyonya. Saya 'kan sudah katakan.
Nah, sekarang biarkanlah aku pergi.
Saya memang dari semula tidak mau datang kemari."
"Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates,
the banking firm down the street?"
“Pak, kenalkah anda kepada Eddy and Associates,
perusahaan perbankan yang ada disudut jalan itu?”
"They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.."
"Mereka mengadakan pertemuan mingguan mereka di salah satu ruangan pesta VIP-ku.."
"I thought that might make a difference."
”Saya memang berpikir bahwa itu mungkin bisa membuat perubahan dalam sikap anda.”
"Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"
“Pak polisi, apakah anda mau ikut serta dengan kami menikmati secangkir kopi dan sarapan?”
"I'm on duty."
“Saya sedang bertugas.”
"Yes, ma'am.. That would be very nice."
“Baiklah, nyonya.. Itu sangat baik, terima kasih.”
"I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."
”Saya akan mengambil kopinya untuk anda, pak polisi.”
"You certainly put him in his place," he said.
”Anda sudah menyadarkan dia akan posisinya dengan baik,” katanya.
Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."
Percaya atau tidak, saya mempunyai alasan untuk melakukan semua ini.”
She stared at him intently.
Ia memandangi muka tamunya dengan penuh perhatian.
"I think so – I mean you do look familiar."
“Saya rasa begitu – maksud saya, wajah anda memang kelihatan saya kenal.”
"Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."
“Mungkin juga aku sudah tidak sekurus dahulu ketika engkau bekerja disini, dan aku berjalan masuk melalui pintu itu, kedinginan dan sangat lapar.”
He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.
Dia tidak percaya bahwa seorang wanita yang terlihat begitu cemerlang pernah kelaparan...
"I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything.
Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment...
I walked the streets for days.
It was February and I was cold and nearly starving.
I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.."
“Saya datang ke kota ini untuk mencari pekerjaan, tapi tidak berhasil mendapatkan pekerjaan apa pun.
Akhirnya uangku tersisa hingga beberapa sen saja, dan saya telah diusir dari apartmentku... Saya hidup dijalanan untuk beberapa hari.
Saat itu bulan Februari dan saya sangat kedinginan dan hampir mati kelaparan.
Saya melihat tempat ini dan berjalan masuk dengan harapan bisa memperoleh sesuatu yang dapat kumakan..”
"Now I remember," he said.
"I was behind the serving counter.
You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat.
I said that it was against company policy."
“Sekarang saya ingat,” katanya.
“Saya waktu itu berdiri dibalik meja itu melayani langganan.
Anda mendekati saya dan bertanya kalau anda bisa melakukan apa saja dengan upah sesuatu untuk dimakan.
Saya berkata bahwa itu melanggar peraturan dari perusahaan ini.
"Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it.
I was afraid that you would get into trouble.
Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right..."
“Kemudian anda membuatkan saya sandwich roast beef yang paling besar yang pernah saya lihat seumur hidup, dan memberikan saya secangkir kopi, dan menyuruh saya untuk pergi duduk di sudut cafeteria ini dan menikmatinya.
Saya takut waktu itu anda akan mengalami masalah karena saya.
Kemudian saya melihat anda memasukkan uang dan mencetak harga makanan saya itu di mesin hitung, dan saya tahu bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja.
I worked my way up."
Saya mulai bekerja dari bawah dan makin meningkat."
She opened her purse and pulled out a business card.
Dia membuka tasnya dan mengeluarkan sebuah kartu nama.
He's the personnel director of my company.
I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office."
Dia adalah direktur personil dari perusahaan saya.
Saya akan berbicara dengan dia sekarang, dan saya yakin dia akan menemukan suatu pekerjaan yang anda dapat lakukan di kantor.”
"I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet.
If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."
“Saya pikir dia juga akan dapat memberikan kepada anda sedikit uang pinjaman supaya anda bisa membeli pakaian dan mendapat tempat tinggal sampai anda bisa mandiri.
Kalau anda memerlukan apa saja dikemudian hari, pintu saya selalu terbuka bagi anda."
"How can I ever thank you?" he asked.
”Bagaimana saya dapat berterima kasih kepada anda?” dia bertanya.
"To God goes the glory.
He led me to you."
“Bagi Allah segala kemuliaan.
Dialah yang telah menuntun saya kepada anda.”
"Terima kasih untuk pertolongan anda, pak polisi” dia berkata.
I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget.
And thank you for the coffee."
Saya menyaksikan sebuah mujizat hari ini, sesuatu yang tidak akan pernah saya lupakan seumur hidup.
Dan terima kasih untuk kopinya."
May God bless you always and don't forget that when you "cast your bread upon the waters," you never know how it will be returned to you.
God is so big He can cover the whole world with His love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
Kiranya Tuhan memberkati anda selalu dan jangan pernah lupa bahwa kalau anda “menaburkan roti anda diatas air,” anda tidak akan pernah tahu bagaimana itu akan dikembalikan kepada anda.
Tuhan itu begitu besar sehingga Dia dapat menutupi seluruh bumi ini dengan kasihNya, dan sebaliknya Dia begitu kecil sehingga bisa masuk dan bersemayam didalam hatimu.
Only 1 of 2 things will happen; either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!
Hanya ada dua hal yang dapat terjadi; bahwa Dia akan menangkap anda ketika anda jatuh, atau Dia akan mengajarkan kepada anda bagaimana untuk terbang!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Talking face to face beats IM conversations.
But if talking face to face is not possible, it's better to converse through IM than nothing at all.
Then IM conversation needs to be done without crazy ideas that makes you think things that are not happening running through your head.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
“I studied there too. In St. Paul. In fact, I went to St. Cloud before transferring to St. Paul.”
“No Way!! St. Cloud?? That’s where I went!” I said.
Turned out he went there in 1987… The only Indonesians were his brother and himself.
We chatted a little bit about how cold the weather was and he told me that he still remembers the highway to get from St. Cloud to Minneapolis. He was like, I ninety…. I said, I-94 and he enthusiastically said “that’s it! I-94!” He also said how he misses St. Cloud.
Hopefully I’ll have a chance to visit St. Cloud again one day ‘cause I missed it too. And when that chance arrives, I will be with the love of my life, sharing the little memories I had at every little places all around that tiny city.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
When you feel deeply about someone, could you pin down the exact moment when it switched from 'it doesn't exist' to 'it exists'?
I guess it all started as a tiny seed of possibility. With a little bit of luck, the seed grows into a little bud of interest. Then the steady nurturing and watering of conversations and interactions helps it to be a beautiful flower of love and caring.
Don't you think?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Here in Indonesia, mother's day falls on December 22nd. I think mother's day celebration is important because it reminds us at to say thank you to our mom, at least once a year. Although once a year is of course not enough for all that our mom has done for us.
Moreover, it's because
“A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking”
So whether it is mother's day or not at where ever you are right now, let's say Thank You to our dear mother today and at any chance we get.
For my mom, thank you for all you've done for our family, especially for your love and care for me. I don't think I can thank you enough. I love you!