Before leaving Jakarta, I didn't know what it means to "maintain a friendship." I took the people around me for granted. I was so happy to be constantly surrounded by my beloved family that I don't think I needed a friend outside of them.
You know how parents usually complaint about their daughters spending so much on the telephone it nearly send them to bankruptcy? Well, not my parents, or should I say, not this daughter. I rarely call my friends just for the fun of it. My friends usually were the one who called, and often times our conversations were filled with homework questions. And badly enough, I remember that when someone called just to chat, I often times thought, what a waste of times! So as you might guess, I didn't have a lot of real friends back then. Didn't feel it was any problem though, 'cause hey, I've got mom or dad or my sisters who was just a shout away. I realized that at the worst, it made my social skills nearly ZERO.
Then I left for the US. The first couple of years was still full of fun. I lived with my cousin. Her friends became my friends. Lively! The next year wasn't too bad. My cousin left for Seattle, but I still have a few friends that I made the first couple of years. The fourth year my sister came to town. Then I made new friends, her friends became my friend. See the pattern now? Yep, I always knew someone from somebody else. I think I probably made only one real friend on my own during my stay in St. Cloud. Pathetic!
I started having problem since I moved to Duluth. This time, I moved to a completely new place. Didn't know anyone and no Indonesian (which if there had been any would have made it a lot easier...) I pushed myself, I wanted to know people. But still it's so hard! My conversations with the people I knew here is as far as, how are you, what kind of class you're taking, stuff like that. NOW I finally feel I have a problem.
But at this time, I started to get close again to my childhood friend. We started emailing each other about our problems and life story. We used to do everything together. Our moms are friends. We went to the same school for 12 years, we went to the same church, we took the same extracurricular activities, we both were kind of antisocial, me because of the reasons I've put above, her because of her attitude problem she used to have.
She considered me her best friend. Me? I didn't. If you would asked me then who I considered to be my best friend, I don't think I would have mentioned her name. But I'm grateful that we're still friends until this moment. Now I will proudly say that I'm lucky to have a friend like her.
She's become this wonderful person. Her life is not problem free, but she has so much faith in God. The way she talks now is different, very wise. When I went back last winter break, I hang out with her a lot. I brought her when I met with my high school friends. The most fun part we had was when our family spent about 4 days in her mom's hometown.
Now she's preparing for her wedding next year. I hate it that I know I wouldn't be able to make it. I was so happy when she gave me the big news. I couldn't stop smiling that day. This is for you cha... My confession and my apology. May we always be the best of friends.
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